the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize