this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
