Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
you never un-have a 4some
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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