I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
