i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
