sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
