So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we made out on top of his cat.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize