thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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