For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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