bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
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