I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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