haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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