What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
