I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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