You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
