is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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