I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
