I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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