he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
