Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize