this beer tastes like vomit already
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
