six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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