Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
