it glows. i had to have it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
