I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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