dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
