I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm really busy with my period
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