Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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