South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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