Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
