Even the bartender felt bad for me
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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