Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
