she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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