I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
