Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
