I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
