I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
