Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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