Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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