Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
