Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize