So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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