And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
