I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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