After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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