I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
