he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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