I CAN MOONWALK!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
