Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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