I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
