Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
