Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
