Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize