that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
