it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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