where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Is Oprah even human
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
