well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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