erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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