I want to stick my p in your. b.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
