i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
