I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
