Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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