meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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