Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
