you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
