My room smells like vodka and shame
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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