C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
