Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
